RANT: Yet another Warlock-triggered rage

I figured out why my 200-person guild on Laughing Skull had no warlocks. It took me leveling one to 30 to get it, but oh, oh. Now I do. Blizzard is beyond sadistic. Blizzard is a bastion of pure evil.

Most people give up. It's bad enough that the class takes a certain amount of skill to play properly (which is enough to piss off most any person who plays WoW, apparently). Any caster class can be a pain in the ass to solo, and if you're not any good with using your pets, you're basically screwed.

But that's not why these people are giving up. They're giving up because of the (Alliance) Warlock quests.

It goes like this:

1) Oh, a "minion"? Imp? Cool, I have to go kill this dude five feet away in the Vineyards and get a book. Okay, Imp is kind of useless. Good thing that wasn't a pain in the ass or anything.

2) Voidwalker. I've been so traumatized by the rest of the quests that I can't even remember what I DID for this one.

3) Okay, cool. Succubus. 'Bout time I got some decent crowd control. Wait, where is the Barrens? Why do I have to go into Horde territory for this? I'm a fucking level 20 and you want me to run through THERAMORE? Or I can swim? Oh, that's just great.

...*die* *die*die*die*

... I am so fucking SICK OF MURLOCS.

Oh, wow, the Barrens is kind of pretty! *sap* *sap* *sap* *gank* Okay. I have no shards now-- I am a useless 'lock. Also, how the FUCK am I supposed to find one specific tent in the middle of all this? This zone is the size of the Wetlands!

...Whose bright idea was it to stick these two Alliance NPCs in the middle of Horde territory? They're dead. I can't very well turn in a quest to this corpse, now can I? So I get to stand here and wait for them to come back from the dead, visible to every damn Horde in the Zone.

Fuck it. I'm dancing.

...Four flight paths later, and it's time to go to elf territory? (As if the Barrens wasn't bad enough.)

Please don't tell me she doesn't learn seduce for another four levels. Did my eye just start twitching?

4) Felhound time! I've seen these things. They eat mages.

...Ratchet. You want me to go to Ratchet. You do realise there are no Bruisers there, right? At least I have the fucking flight path after the Succubus quest. *take boat, land*

*gank, gank, gank, gank*

...All I have to do is run up a hill. Why can I not just get up the fucking hill? I have spent almost an hour attempting to run up a hill.

*hours pass* I've gone from Stormwind--> Ironforge -->Menethil --> Southshore -->Ironforge -->Ratchet -->Menethil -->Ratchet. This had better be the hungriest fucking Felpuppy EVER.

And those are just the quests to get minions. Don't even get me started on the quest that wants me to go to SFK and BFD. Or the one where I get stuff from two zones on two different continents to kill a guy and make 50s for it.

And to rub it in, now they've made the minions TALK, so we don't even want them once we get them! I used to dismiss my imp because I was so sick of listening to him bitch. The voidwalker is adorable, but the succubus is an icon of cliche "sexy." If the felpuppy uses words now, I am probably going to gnaw someone's face off.

Blizzard clearly hates Alliance 'locks. And people wonder why everyone rolls Pally or Rogue? To get your Pally mount you speak to TWO people. I am sure that when I attempt to get my mount I will burst a blood vessel from frustration and rage.

RANT: What kind of Warlock looks like this?

I've started another Warlock alt on Maelstrom so I can play with Diego over winter break. Since I have no high-level characters on the server to give her a hand, I've been relying completely on drops and tailoring to get her items.

Despite that, I end up with this outfit. The vest is a ->Barbaric Linen Vest<-, and the pants are one of the ->Aboriginal Loincloths<-. Which apparently drop on the Horde side. I got them at the AH when I already had the vest, and when I equipped them I went "....shit." (Click for large.)



So I ran around in that for a few days, getting almost constant /whistles and /flirts from random night elf males and gnomes. I started carrying around a ->Simple Dress<- to throw on any time people started doing something dumb.

Last night I finally learned how to make a grey woolen shirt, which looks good with the ensemble and actually covers some flesh. So now it's not quite as scary to look at. Here's a shot of me standing on Van Cleef's corpse after my party got wiped by our dumbass druid healer:



Madeline says now it looks like I'm not wearing any pants, but I still assert that it is better because my cleavage is now hidden from view. I admit that it's kind of cool running around looking like a Norsewoman, but I'm still getting /flirts and /whistles, which gets old very quickly.

I can't call Blizzard sexist on this one, unfortunately, because according to the screenie on Thottbot the guys look exactly the same as the girls in this. The Barbaric Linen Vest may be their fault, though. After the Corsair's Overshirt fiasco, I wouldn't be surprised.

I've given her a sword and a torch to complete the look when I'm soloing and thus not in need of my ->Emberstone Staff<- (okay, in all honesty, I'm just BORED). With those two combined, she looks pretty badass.



But I know people see me run by and go "what the! That's a warlock?" I'm right there with them, in all honesty.

RANT: the things I do for my guildies

So I'm beginning to think that Blizzard is full of sadistic bastards. To get your enchanting to a potential level of 300 you have to go talk to some woman hiding out in ULDAMAN, one of the worst instances in the game. I wasn't too worried about it when I started, though. I'm a level 58 druid, they're level 35-40 elites. No problem for me. I'll just cat form it and stealth to the enchanter lady, right?

Wrong.

Stealthing through that instance is like playing Frogger. The troggs walk back and forth across the pat in seemingly random patterns, bats fly through the halls, and scorpids cluster in groups, making entire passages impassable.

My first try I aggrod six troggs, four of which were healers. They'd run and bring more adds, so I ended up fighting eleven of them all at once. Half of them were healers, so the battle was destined to whoever ran out of mana first. Luckily, it was the troggs.

Then I finally get to the area where the enchanter lady is supposed to be and I am greeted with a pit of scorpids and a tent. I had to clear all of them to get to her. And after I learned my to 300 level, I look down the list of enchants and realize that I have to go back to Uldaman every time I want to buy new skills from her.

I think that this is clear proof that Blizzard is sadistic.

Also, here is pictoral proof of my love for my guildies:

RANT: What the hell is wrong with Blizzard Developers?

Here is the Corsairs overshirt on a male human warlock:



Here is the EXACT SAME overshirt on a female human warlock:



Someone please tell me why. I know why, but I don't believe it.