Indraste: "Where are we heading, again? The scenery is beautiful, but I think the spores might be getting to me."
Rastel: "We're supposed to find Watcher Leesa'Oh at the Cenarion Watchpost. That Draenei back there said we just follow this road."
Indraste: "Well, we've BEEN following this road!"
Rastel: "You of all people should know that druids are insane and enjoy living in hermitage."
Indraste: "...*mutters* we don't always..."
Rastel: "Hey, it's not like I've ever SEEN your home!"
Indraste: "That's because you're too lazy to take a boat."
Rastel: "If by 'boat' you mean a series of gryphons, two boats, and a portal..."
Indraste: "Oh, look, a tent!"
*The companions had almost overshot a small brown lean-to assembled haphazardly at the side of the road. If it weren't for the pacing Nightsaber, they might have missed it completely. A druid dressed in full Wildheart greets them absentmindedly. Something about "Buddy," which appears to be the name of Leesa'Oh's saber.*
Indraste: ("Buddy?"No wonder the cat is pacing angrily.")
Rastel: ("Hush.") Hello, Leesa'Oh? Lethyn Moonfire told us you could use some help."
Watcher Leesa'Oh: "Oh, certainly! We need to learn all that we can of the sporelings at Sporeggar and their relationship to the creatures around them. One way to do that is what I'm doing; passive observation while making a note of their interactions. I need you to head over to the Spawning Glen down the path to the northwest. Investigate the whole area and then return to tell me what you saw."
Indraste: "...Okay then."
*Indraste and Rastel head off down the road in search of the Spawning Glen and find an area full of bilious sacs. A bunch of giants are running to and fro, killing tiny...humanoids...*
Indraste: "What the Fel are those?"
Rastel: "My guess would be "sporelings." They're kinda cute!"
Indraste: "I prefer my fungi to be non-bipedal, thanks."
Rastel: "Let's just GO already."
*They make the rather short trek back to the tent and inform Leesa'Oh of the creatures in the glen.*
Watcher Leesa'Oh: "I was wondering why the bog lords were crossing the road to go to the Spawning Glen - they must be starving for some reason. This just will not do! I mean, normally I wouldn't get involved, but if they continue to eat all of the sporeling pods they'll wipe them out! Here's what we'll do: I'll stay here and you head to the Quagg Ridge to the east and look for dietary clues as to why they're raiding the sporelings."
Rastel: "...Alright. We'll be right back."
*Remounted, they head off down the road. The camera zooms in to Indraste, looking pensive."
Indraste: "Rasty, if she's been standing there watching the bog lords enter the glen, why didn't she go look for herself?"
Rastel: "Maybe she's worried about going alone?"
Indraste: "You saw her armor. Wildheart can be very hard to obtain. Baron Rivendare stole the Kilt a ways back, and she had to have gone through him to get it. No, she's got very little to worry about. So why are we doing all the legwork?"
Rastel: *exasperated* "Because she has gold that we want! Now shut up!"
*Silence surrounds them until, cresting a hill, they see their quarry. Mounds of rotting mushrooms are strewn across the glade, and half-crazed giants roam about aimlessly.*
Rastel: "That is what she means by 'discarded nutriment'? Okay, this is kind of gross."
Indraste: "So, you still feel good about a random druid asking you to haul ten putrid slices of shroomflesh back across the road? Your pack is going to smell for weeks."
Rastel: "Not if I make you carry it all."
Indraste: "You try, and you feel the moonfire."
*Gritting their teeth, the pair gathers up their unsavory loot and runs as quickly as possible back to the druid on the road. When they arrive, a gnome is standing at the encampment, receiving a suspiciously similar speech to the one they just got. He says yes, as well, and runs off the way they just came. The pair approach the druid once he is out of sight.*
Indraste: "Here's your 'Discarded Nutriment.'"
Watcher Leesa'Oh: "Yes, that's it, I knew I had seen this particular phylum of mushroom elsewhere in the marsh! To the north is a place known as the Hewn Bog. Odd name for the place if you ask me, but I've never been there. I'll need samples of those mushrooms to confirm my hypothesis. Just be careful, you two. I'd heard that ogres have moved in to the area, so you'll have to get the samples from them. Could that be why the bog lords are no longer going there for their food?"
Indraste: "You know, if you've never been there, perhaps you should broaden your horizons and get the he--"
Rastel: "WE'LL JUST BE HEADING OUT NOW, won't we, Indy?"
*A haze materializes in the air over Indraste, who appears to be trying very hard not to shapeshift into bear form. Rastel hauls her back to her mount, grabs it by the reins, and gets them both back on the path. After a few minutes of riding, the haze subsides.*
Rastel: "Look, Indy. We're almost done. Do you realize how much money we've made already?"
Indraste: "I just can't help but wonder about the gnome she sent off, though. How many people does she have working for her? She's already given us eight gold..."
Rastel: "So what? You night elves think too much."
Indraste: "It's because we don't die in seven decades like humans. Gives us more time to develop those critical thinking skills."
Rastel: "...Hag."
Indraste: "Manbear would be a much more appropriate term. Oh, thank Elune. I think I see an ogre."
Rastel: "I'm not actually sure I'm thankful for having to see them, in all honesty."
*They are quickly spotted by a fat single-headed ogre with an axe. He charges towards them, belly bouncing merrily over the top of his loincloth."
Ogre: "You no take mushroom!"
*Rastel falls off her mount, laughing hysterically, as Indraste shifts into bear form and takes the ogre head on. The battle is slow, but the ogre inevitably dies. After scrounging through the massive corpse's pockets, they discover that this particular beast didn't have a single scrap of food on him. They attack and fell another ogre, and another, but none of them seem to have any mushrooms.*
Indraste: "HOW CAN ALL OF YOU BE SO FAT IF YOU DON'T EAT?! GAAAAH!"
Rastel: "Oooh, wait! This one has one!"
*Hours later the pair are soaked from running around the marsh, covered in ogre blood and exhausted from hacking and slashing through countless warm bodies. They remount doggedly and begin the long trip back to the Watcher's tent.*
Rastel: "I didn't think druids were advocates of genocide. I mean, I hate ogres, but what we did back there feels a little dirty."
Indraste: *twich* "That's what happens when you don't carry your mushrooms on you! Fucking fat useless ogres!"
Rastel: "...Indy..."
Indraste: "Gonna KILL Leesa'Oh! I got a new feral ability I haven't tried, it's called Maim, and it sounds like a really good thing to know how to do right about now!"
Rastel: "Indy, why don't you stay right here and take a little nap, okay? I'll go talk to the nice druid."
Indraste: "#!$#%#$!@**"
*Rastel approaches Leesa'Oh's tent alone, noting that the gnome is back, as is a dwarf. She waits politely until they are done before approaching.*
Rastel: "Here are those mushroom samples you wanted."
Watcher Leesa'Oh: "Rastel, I've got an idea. I want you to head north again, this time into the heart of ogre territory! Northwest of the Hewn Bog there is a place named Ango'rosh Stronghold, which sits on a floating island across a large mushroom bridge. The ogres must be storing the harvested mushrooms there. I bet you'll find them all over the place, and probably on the ogres themselves, too! Bring me a sufficient number and I will try to do something about providing the bog lords with a new source of nourishment."
Rastel: "...what counts as a "sufficient number?"
Watcher Leesa'Oh: "Oh, 10 boxes each."
*Hand clasped tightly on the hilt of her massive sword, Rastel stalks off stiffly to the patch of grass where she left Indraste, who is in cat form, asleep. She appears to have fallen asleep stealthed, because she keeps flickering in and out of view as she breathes.*
Rastel: "Indy, wake up."
Indraste: "Oh, you look angry. What did she want now?"
Rastel: "Mushrooms. Ten boxes of mushrooms off those ogres we just obliterated."
Indraste: "I have a better idea. You know why she never leaves her spot? That tent is full of gold. It has to be. Now what would you rather do, kill a billion more ogres and haul crates halfway across the zone, or kill the most obnoxious druid in Outland and make off with her stash?"
Rastel: "Indraste, contain yourself! You're a druid, and I am a paladin!"
*Indraste makes no response except a very toothy grin before she fades back out of view.*
Rastel: "Felweed, she's gonna get herself killed. I have to intervene to save a friend in need!"
*The duo converge on Watcher Leesa'Oh. Indraste gets her in the back with a stun, then reverts to elf form and sends Starfire raining on her head. Rastel impales her through the stomach with her greatsword...in self-defense, of course. Soon the druid is dead and her tent has been cleared. As predicted, it was practically overflowing with money.*
Indraste: "Its a shame, really."
Rastel: "What, the fact that we just commited murder and robbery?"
Indraste: "No, that you had to ruin her chestpiece."
Rastel: "It was soulbound, anyway."
Indraste: "She's dead, Rastel. Trust me, it's not soulbound anymore."
*Remounted, the two adventures ride west into the sunset, headed for the Terrokar border. After a moment's pause, Buddy follows gleefully.*
All Leesa'Oh text taken directly from the quests. I hate her so much.
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