ADVENTURE: Terrokarantula Must Die!- An Adventure with Alcohol

*The scene opens to a barren wasteland. Corpses and bleached bones scatter the landscape, hinting at the ancient battle that once took place here. The sunlight filters diffusely down from the sky through the fine film of dust that hovers in the air. Soon a Night Elf Druid and a Human Paladin bcome visible as they guide their mounts cautiously towards a ridge of trees.*
Indraste: "Are you sure we have to do this? I hate spiders."
Rastel: "Stop being such a sissy. Aren't you supposed to be several hundred years old?"
Indraste: "Look, do I make fun of your issues? I had a bad experience in a cave a while back."

*Indraste pales, then rummages around in her bag and produces what looks to be a keg of Aerie Peak Ale, takes a swig, and then drops it back in. Rastel stares for a moment, then frowns.*
Rastel: "How did you get that in there?"
Indraste: "Magic."
Rastel: "No, really."
Indraste: "Seriously. It's an Imbued Netherweave Bag. I used Tailoring and Enchanting to make it, so it really is magic. And you have no idea how much stuff this thing can hold. I've fit entire Bone Worm carcasses in here!"
Rastel: "Clearly I have been missing out. Where did you get that beer, anyway?"

*Indraste searches through her pack again before producing a garish red sombrero.*
Indraste: "See this hat?"
Rastel: "Yeah, I saw the dwarf give that to you. So what?"
Indraste: "I can pull beer out of it."

*There is a long pause, broken only by their mounts shifting restlessly underneath them.*
Rastel: "You can pull beer...out of a hat."
Indraste: "Yes! Here, try it."

*Rastel reaches in cautiously, then pulls out a skin of lager. She stares at it in surprise before handing it to Indraste wordlessly. The druid attaches it to her saddlehorn, then gets her Stormsaber walking again. After a moment, Rastel follows on her Charger.*
Rastel: "Has anyone ever told you you're insane?"
Indraste: "So I have a beer hat. We've seen stranger things. Anyway, we have more important things to talk about, such as why the Fel we're doing this?"
Rastel: "Look, you said you wanted money. We kill the big spider, we get money. It's a rather simple economic concept, Indy."
Indraste: "Yes, but it's that adjective that's bothering me. "Big." How big is "big," exactly?"
Rastel: "Probably as big as any of the others."
Indraste: "Yeah, but the guy who's paying us is a Draenei. He's taller than I am!"
Rastel: "Indy, look. You heal, I poke the spider with a stick, it dies, we move on. No discussion needs to be involved here. And, might I add, had you not spent our entire fortune on that stupid hawk-thing that's been following you around when I left you alone with the bags in Shattrath for all of five minutes, we wouldn't have to do this at all."
Indraste: "...He needed me."
Rastel: "And did the vendor really need every last silver we had to our names?"
Indraste: "The money made me feel dirty."
Rastel: "Oh, now that's ironic. Just split up and search for the damned thing, will you? It's in a cave somewhere on this ridge."

*Grumbling something about a druid named Leesa'Oh, the druid veers right, spurring her mount over a fallen tree to avoid a stand of cobwebs. It roars in protest. The paladin goes the other way, ignoring the webbing completely. A thorough exploration of the ridge in her direction reveals no cave, so she about-faces and returns to find Indraste. After a few minutes ride she comes across her companion, sprawled on the ground, with both the skin of lager and the keg of ale empty and cast aside.*
Rastel: "Oh, this is peachy. What are you doing?"
Indraste: "Agh, shorry. I hate shpidersh. Ran into one, had to kill it."
Rastel: "..Were you drunk before or after you ran into it?"
Indraste: "Hee, before, I think...hic!"
Rastel: "Well, at least I know you can still fight, then. Come here."

*Rastel hoists the drunk Elf onto her back and hauls her awkwardly up the ridge toward what looks like a cave opening.*
Rastel: "If you're going to get this drunk, you could at least take some Noggenfogger beforehand and make yourself either lighter or shorter!"
Indrate: "Shu'p, I'm jusht like a greatshword...hic! Don't you humansh shpecialize in shwordshmanship?"
Rastel: "I'm propping you against this tree so you can still cast. Just make sure you hold still do your spells don't fail, okay Indy? I think the spider is in--HOLY LIGHT!"

*As she speaks, a set of massive red spider legs become visible over the treetops. The body they are attached to casts a shadow over the ground before them as the Terrokarantula crawls by.*
Indraste: "Oh! Ish not that big! Thought it would be bigger!"
Rastel: "What are you talking about! That thing is enormous! We're gonna die!"
Indraste: "Nah, ish fine. I can ssholo that if you want...hic!"
Rastel: "Okay, you've clearly had too much to drink. Indraste, LOOK!"
Indraste: "No, ish not shcary at all!"
Rastel: "What happened to I had a bad experience a while back'?"
Indraste: "That spider wash bigger."
Rastel: "Indraste, there is no spider ever, in the history of you, that is bigger than this one. Now look!"

*As she speaks, she casts a cleansing spell on Indraste, who quickly becomes sober again. The druid looks up and becomes several shades paler than she already is.*
Indraste: "Oh, Elune! That thing is enormous!"
Rastel: "In the future, less beer for you. Now keep me healed, please?"

*The druid nods mutely to Rastel, who charges in before she can lose her nerve.*

Inspired by true events. Apparently alchohol makes mobs look several levels lower than they actually are, so Rastel and I got into a huge argument about it before fighting the Terrokarantula. For more adventures of Rastel and Indraste, click here.